I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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