It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
