Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
