Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
