I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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