why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
