Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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