I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
