Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
