Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
