Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize