i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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