The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
