i think i have herpe
just one?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
