Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He has the fingertips of a God
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
