you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
