you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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