Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
