Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Randomize
