Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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