proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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