bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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