Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
