Cold hands, warm shart.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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