Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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