I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
