if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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