i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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