So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
