I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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