things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
PANTIES FOUND
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