he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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