Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
