Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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