It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
