were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
