Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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