You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
