There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize