your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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