Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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