I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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