so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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