I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
