My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
