Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
