Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
