I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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