If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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