We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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