remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize