Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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