hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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