it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
