just tell him i said nine months
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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