I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize